Delighted In

I ran to the beach again, this time around 10:00am. I was feeling pretty good, and I was excited to see the beach in the morning hours. After getting a drink from the water fountain, I kicked off my shoes without untying them and quickly slid off my socks. I started walking up the back side of one of the sand dunes, plunging my feet into the cool sand. Even though it was before noon, the sun was already very strong and the air was warm. The sand felt amazing on my tired feet, and as I ascended to the top of the dune, I looked out over the water before me. Lake Michigan was a striking blue, a vibrant Crayola original blue that you would get in a three-pack of crayons at a restaurant. The sky was bright and the dune grass was an effervescent shade of light green. The scene before my eyes seemed so perfect, so untouchable. While I wanted to go down to the water, I also felt content to rest in the shade for a while. I lay down in the cold sand, burying my feet and resting my head on the soft pillow of earth. After a little while of catching my breath, I stood up to face again the wonderful scene before me. I ran down the dune—one of my favorite things in the world to do—and then walked to the water. I slowly entered the water, being careful to not get my shorts wet, and went about knee-deep. It was great. No one else was in sight. I turned around to face the shining sun, and I felt like I was in a dream. The water was uncharacteristically calm, and every color around me seemed like it belonged more in the Caribbean than in Michigan. I kept looking around and blinking, wondering if it would disappear, but it didn’t. I walked out of the water, still in a dream-like state. I felt so blessed to have this piece of heaven to enjoy, but there was something very wrong: I didn’t feel part of this scene. I felt like an intruder, like it was intended for someone else to enjoy, or maybe not intended for anyone to see. I stood on the shoreline, and I asked God in a quiet voice, pleading in my heart, “Can I be part of this moment?” I felt like a shy little girl, afraid to even ask.
And suddenly, I felt compelled to move forward again. It was as if God were saying, “Not from there you can’t.” I threw off my shirt and my iPod and burst forth in a sprint into the water. I dove in, letting my entire body be surrounded by the water. It was refreshingly cold, and when I stood up again, I began to laugh. I felt intimately a part of the moment all of the sudden, and my emotions were unsure of which direction to take. The joy was overwhelming and laughter kept spilling from my lips from deep inside me, and then the tears came. I looked around and still I was the only one in sight. I felt like a child and picked up a bundle of water in my arms and threw it as high as I could into the sky between me and the sun. The water split into golden droplets in what seemed like slow motion and dropped in front of me. I was so enchanted! I did it again and again and again. I dove in, letting myself freely enjoy this time.
A wide smile was spread across my face—I could feel myself beaming. “Thank you, thank you!” I started saying over and over again, the tears coming again. “Thank you, God for letting me be a part of this moment. I delight in you.” Unexpectedly, he replied, “Daughter, I delight in you.”
Tears streamed down my face, and I knew that God had answered a question that I never asked with my lips but had perhaps been asking for a very long time with my life. While enjoying my piece of heaven and becoming part of it, God had told me that he delighted in me. My heart could not contain itself with the happiness I felt. I grabbed my t-shirt and iPod and walked back up the beach toward my shoes. All the while, I was asking the question I already had the answer to: “Father, do you delight in me?” And the reply kept coming, “Yes, I do.” I knew deeply that no matter how many times I asked it, the answer was always going to be the same. So I kept asking. While I tied my shoes, while I was running home, and hours later when I was in bed that night, I asked God that question. God delights in me. And even writing that brings a child-like smile to my face.